Wednesday, September 14, 2005


I'm feeling a bit scattered these days. There are so many things I like to do - reading, knitting, writing - but I never feel like I have enough time to devote to those interests.

I'm in various stages of reading several books - Patricia Cornwell's The Last Precinct, John Twelve Hawks' The Traveler, Harriet Lerner's The Dance of Anger (actually, the book is the trilogy including The Dance of Intimacy and The Dance of Deception but I've only started the first of the three). I also have several books waiting in the wings (including a book on how to manage peri-menopause which I think I'm avoiding because it'll probably tell me I have to quit my Starbucks habit and I just don't think I can do that).

I'm working on several knitting projects - I've started two baby blankets and have a third in waiting, there's a throw for Dave I started two years ago that I haven't even looked at in ages and somewhere along the line I started a sweater for myself that I'll probably pull out and start over at some point. I also have enough yarn for several other projects. But that doesn't stop me from looking at yarn websites yearning to buy more!

And then there's the writing that I love to do but am forever procrastinating on - I have at least two stories/book ideas going right now (meaning I've actually started to write stuff) and lots more that bubble to the surface of my mind now and then. For a long time I've had a fantasy about making a living as a writer someday. But writers have to actually spend time writing and I'm forever telling myself I'll write "later." Of course, later never comes. Or when it comes, I have to go make dinner or get some sleep or go to work. Or I write here, which is great but isn't necessarily something that will ever pay the bills.

On top of all that, there's every day life that needs attention. I want to spend time with Meredith (and when they get back, Dave and Abby), I need to cook, do laundry and clean (at least every now and then). There are bills to pay and projects around the house that just need doing. Oh, yeah - and then there's my day job. It's not a bad job, there are lots of things about it that I like (not the least of which is the people I work with) and the pay's nothing to sneeze at. Given the lifestyle to which I've become accustomed, I have no intention of leaving here any time soon (unless I win the lottery). Somewhere in there I think about fitting in exercise but it never seems to make the cut.

I guess I wish that things were flipped around so that I could spend the bulk of my time on creative pursuits and less of my time on earning a living in the corporate world. How do other people do it? I know there are people out there that manage to accomplish far more than I do and I'd love some advice on how to stop procrastinating and actually do something creative.


landismom said...

I'm with you--I have great ambitions about what I think I can accomplish, but by the time I get the kids off to school, work my whole work day, and then do the parenting that I need to to get them in bed, I lack the energy to do anything other than collapse on the couch. Oh, I might clean a little bit, but sewing? no. scrapbooking? no.

Consequently, I have piles of craft supplies lying around, giving me more stuff to clean.

Dawn said...

Why don't you submit something to our next issue of Mosaic Minds? We'd love to have you! Our next theme is yes/no/maybe...

MIM said...

Jessica, sometimes you sound so much like me! I, too, have unfinished knitting projects, writing projects, and many books to read. I haven't quite figured out how to accomplish anything on my OWN. I can accomplish a lot in a structured environment -- like school. But on my own?? That's totally different.

MIM said...

Oh, and I have same fantasy of earning my living as a writer!

We're going to have a lot to talk about when I get to Chicago!

Jessica said...

MIM - I'm so with you on the structure thing! I do great in school and I'm good at completing the tasks of my job but I'm just not good at motivating myself and structuring my own day when I'm totally left to my own devices. If I am ever going to earn a living as a writer, I better learn how to be more self-motivated. And I can't wait until you visit Chicago!