Friday, September 23, 2005

Friday song (on Saturday)

Ok - so I lied. It's not really about clothes but it sort of is. So here goes, this week's Friday song is Who We Are by Hope Partlow.

I don't wanna put on my make up
Just like every girl in a magazine
That's not who I am when I wake up
That's not who I wanna be

There's so much more to me than
Meets the eye
In this life I know one thing

It doesn't really matter what you wear
Let the people stare
Cuz we are who we are who we are who we are
It doesn't really matter what car you drive
It's good to be alive
Yeah we are who we are who we are who we are
Who we are

Tell me baby do I look like the real thing
Or would you change the color of my eyes
Tell me why my television's filling me with lies

It doesn't really matter what you wear
Let the people stare
Cuz we are who we are who we are who we are
It doesn't really matter what car you drive
It's good to be alive
Yeah we are who we are who we are who we are

There is beauty on the inside
Yeah you're beautiful
All right!

Though it doesn't really matter what you wear
Let the people stare
Cuz we are who we are who we are who we are
It doesn't really matter what car you drive
It's good to be alive
Yeah we are who we are who we are who we are

It doesn't really matter what you wear
Let the people stare (it's good to be alive good to be alive)
Doesn't really matter what car you drive
It's good to be alive (who we are)
Yeah we are who we are who we are who we are who we are (it's good to be alive good to be alive)

When we are who we are

I think this song hit me this week because I'm going through a phase where I'm not feeling good about the way I look. I haven't been exercising, I've been eating too much junk and I've gained a few pounds. I've gained enough weight that it effects the way my clothes fit. I know that if I let that bother me, it doesn't do any good and it makes things worse - I'll eat to make myself feel better! Stupid, I know.

I don't need to tell you that our society values physical attractiveness to an unhealthy level. No matter how logically I try to see that and how many times I tell myself that how I look shouldn't matter, it does matter. It's not like I'm an actress or public figure. I don't have paparazzi snapping pictures of me without make up on. Which just makes my concern about my looks that much more ridiculous.

And the other silly thing is that I tend to feel intimidated by really attractive people. Or really wealthy people. I know, being rich and pretty doesn't equate with happiness or true contentment with life. I'm in a weird mood, I guess.

I don't want to teach my girls that they way they look is paramount. I try not to complain about my true body image in front of them and I have never talked about dieting. If I talk about wanting to lose weight, it's always couched in terms of eating more healthy foods in smaller portions. Never about trying to look better - only about health. But, to be totally honest, sometimes it's a lie. As unhealthy as this attitude is, there are times that I couldn't give a rat's ass about my health as long as I look half way decent in a bathing suit and my favorite pants don't pull at the thighs. Just don't tell my girls! (Thank God they aren't old enough to read this blog).

Say the party line with me - it's about who you are on the inside, not about what you look like or the clothes you wear.

5 comments:

Sandra said...

I'm always impressed by people who are so interesting and vivacious that I don't even notice till later that they're not physically attractive. Look at Sarah Jessica Parker--homely, aging woman who seems beautiful. It's all in the attitude, I guess. Another girly lesson I learned way too late.

MIM said...

Sandra is so right!

Jessica said...

Totally agreed - personality and attitude count for a lot when it comes to attractiveness. I think it's important to feel good in your own skin and be confident. I hope I can teach that to my girls.

Crystal said...

Sarah Jessica Parker homely?! I wouldn't consider her homely, she's kinda exotic and beautiful in a quirky way, and she has amazing personal style. BTW Jessica, I totally get your message, and I joined a gym over Labor Day because I wanta get back my 115lb. figure and fit into my sleek editor pants from Express! It's not about "trying to be healthy", it's about looking good, and women need to cut the crap and just admit that thin looks better. Yes it's hard, and I was thin my whole life so I'm not used to dieting, but now that I'm 28 I notice that when I down a pint of Ben&Jerry's, it shows. Every time I walk down Michigan Avenue I have a self-esteem crisis, because everybody else is thin & fashionable, and I envy that!

Jessica said...

Crystal - You're right, thin does look better but the last thing I want to teach my girls is that they should aspire to be thin regardless of the consequences to their health and well-being. I want them to be physically healthy and mentally well-adjusted (at least as well-adjusted as they can be with a mom as nuts as I am).