Monday, June 20, 2005

Love, Freudian style

M-Girl is generally not a morning person. She simply cannot get out of bed in the morning (at least not on school days) without a generous amount coaxing from mom and dad. On Saturday, however, she was going to a pool party so she was up at 6:00 a.m. (yes, 6:00 a.m.) with her bathing suit on when she jumped into bed with us. If she wasn't so cute . . .

So, we talked to her for awhile and at one point I said "Gosh, M-Girl. You're really growing up." And she said "I don't want to grow up." When asked why, she replied "How am I going to find a husband?" Huh? We said, "Well, when you're older, you'll find the right person." She turns to her dad and says "But I want you to be my husband." He said "Well, I can't because I'm already married to mommy." She said "Noooooo, I want you to be married to me."

Not that I'm an expert or anything but according to some stuff I just read on the Internet, the Electra Complex describes the point in a young girl's development where she develops a romantic attachment to her father and a hostile attitude towards her mother. That's not really what appears to be happening with M-Girl. She's not hostile towards me in particular (she's equally hostile to me and everyone else when we tell her to eat her oatmeal). Whenever I ask her what she wants to be when she grows up, she says "You know mommy. It's you!" It's more like she knows that she's a girl and she wants to grow up to be like her most important female role model.

I never really felt this with A-Girl. She was jealous whenever Big D and I so much as held hands when she was a baby. She would scream bloody murder when we'd kiss each other. Even now, at 7, she'll try to squeeze between us sometimes when we're hugging. I don't think it's because she was jealous of me and wanted Big D to herself. My theory is that she just doesn't like it much when the attention isn't on her. She's mature enough now to realize that she isn't the center of the universe (although she sometimes needs reminding) so it doesn't happen all the time. I don't particularly remember her wanting to marry her dad and she definitely doesn't want to be me, which is good.

It's good for me to have reminders that I'm a role model. Scary thought, that.

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