Thursday, December 08, 2005

Thursday Thirteen - Mood swing edition

Thirteen Things about PMS Girl (oops, I mean Jessica)

1. I'm totally PMSing today but I am not going to let me stop the Thursday Thirteen from being posted. You lucky people! You get to see what my poor husband and children have to live with all the time (and remember, it's much worse to experience it in person).

2. I had a very crabby cab driver yesterday. He swore at other drivers and then got mad at me apparently because I was giving him less than a dollar tip. I usually give somewhere in the vicinity of 10% tip. So if it's about a $5.00 ride, it'll be around 50 cents. Apparently that's not enough for crabby cab driver - I gave him a $10 for a ride that was $4.45 and asked him for $5.00 back. That's MORE than 10% people - I think that's fair and regular practice. Does he expect that I should give him MORE than $1.00 for a three minute ride that he's getting paid for anyway? He angrily shoves my change (coins and all) in my hand. When I said "No, I only asked for $5.00 back." He said "Forget it. I have to get going." Sheesh.

3. On a lighter note, M Girl totally got me yesterday morning. A Girl was finishing her homework at the kitchen table. As I finished making her eggs, I asked her to clear her homework off the table because, I said "It's not good to have your homework there while you're eating." As she was clearing the stuff off the table, I put the plate of eggs down and some of her papers almost hit the plate. I said "See, that's why we don't want to have your homework on the table at meal time." So M Girl says "But Mom, you could've just put the eggs on the counter while she was clearing the table." Duh. I hate it (and love it) that my 5 year old is so much smarter than I am.

4. Back to crabbiness . . . there's someone I work with who is driving me crazy. This person only hears what he/she wants to hear and asks the same question over and over again (especially when this person doesn't like the answers). We're working on a big project that has lots of issues associated with it and this person keeps downplaying the open issues. Worst of all, she/he downplays the open issues to higher ups and then when I (and the other lawyers and sane people involved - not that lawyers aren't sane but . . . ok, maybe some of us aren't). Anyway, when we bring up the reality of the situation - that we're a long way from having important issues figured out - it looks like we're trying to stop the "momentum" of the project. I guess, in a way, we are trying to stop the momentum because we're trying to prevent the public from knowing that - at this point - we don't really know what we're doing. This person is in charge of the project so we can't avoid this person. Because I knew I couldn't be polite, I avoided speaking directly to this person as much as I could and communicated through the assistant (without being obvious about it) and I'm sure we all felt much better for it.

4. Have I mentioned how much I love Tae Kwon Do? Well, I do and I have class tonight and I'm really excited. I've learned my poomsae which is a routine consisting, for my level, of hand/arm movements and turns. At higher levels the routine includes kicks and more difficult arm movements. As the levels progress, the poomsae gets more difficult. Now I have to work on improving my technique. Because I used to be a dancer, I do the movements too smoothly and without sufficient strength and differentiation. I also have some problems getting the arm and leg movements coordinated in the right way. So that's what I'm working on. I've been taking classes for almost two months and there's a two month minimum before you can test for the next belt. I hope he'll let me test at the next opportunity.

5. I have nothing else to grump about except that I'm hungry. I only ate cream of wheat for breakfast. When will I learn that I need to have some protein with breakfast?

6. I made a promise to myself and my family this winter that I wouldn't complain about the cold. I can't change it and complaining only makes me and everyone else more unhappy. So far, even with PMS, I've managed to keep that promise! I don't even complain to myself - well, sometimes I start complaining but I stop myself and accept the fact that we live in a cold climate and this is just the way it is in the winter. Then I feel better and, strangely, less cold!

7. I made a resolution the other day that I would BE more organized. I've realized that this resolution will probably be easier to achieve with respect to home than it will be with respect to my work. This is partly because I don't really love my job. I know I've said this before - I really like parts of it and I adore most of the people I work with (but see #4 above!) but it isn't really what I'd like to be doing with my time. If I had known more about myself (and listened to myself) when I was younger, I probably wouldn't be here now. That's ok, though, because I most likely wouldn't have met Big D, the love of my life, and we wouldn't have our beautiful children. I don't regret my life in the least. But I do wish - sometimes more fervently than others - that I could spend more time on writing and other creative endeavors. And maybe even make a living like that instead of coming to this office every day. So back to my original point, because I love my family and our home, I am more motivated to make changes there than I am to make changes here. But I need to keep in mind that making changes here will help me be more efficient with my time so that I can spend more guilt-free time with my family. I think this is the time when I have to find some mental toughness and just get to it.

8. We have a lovely Christmas tree. Big D put some wrapped presents under it the other day to make it even lovelier. M Girl came to me yesterday and said "Mom! Can we open some of the presents under the tree?!" I of course said "Of course not!" She said "Aww, we have to wait until Christmas?" "Yes, you do. That's what Christmas presents are for." Still trying to get me to change my mind, she says "But Santa might DO something with them." I reassured her "Honey, Santa leaves presents. He doesn't take them." She sighed, defeated.

9. This morning I removed my blog from the TTLB Ecosystem. What started out as a fun thing to include on my blog became a thing of daily concern. Each morning I'd wonder whether I'd moved up or down on the evolutionary chain. It started out silly and just became sillier. I'm obsessed enough with my hit counter and the number of comments (or lack thereof) that I get on any given post. I don't need anything else to obsess over. Plus it was a huge blow to my ego when they changed the way they rank blogs and I plunged from the lofty heights of Crawly Amphibian to lowly Multicellular Microorganism. It was too much to bear for something so non-important. So I eased my pain by not having to know how the folks at TTLB view my blog. If I want to be a Flappy Bird or an Adorable Rodent or even *gasp* a Higher Being, I can be one in my own mind, without someone "official" telling me that I'm not, thank you very much.

10. My husband's cousin who lives on the East Coast has a degree in Deaf Education. Awhile back she started her own business as a translator for the deaf. It's the coolest job. She goes to court, doctor's appointments and important meetings with her clients. She even gets to go to the theater where she, and usually one or two other translators, act out the show in sign language. She gets to do what she likes and is good at, make a living and help people in a very important way. And she's one of the nicest people I know on top of it all. She didn't even get upset with us when we made her significant other seasick!

11. If you're still with me, say "I'm still here!" If you're not, I totally understand. I don't really want to be with me today either.

12. Aside from trying to be more organized, I need to learn to say "no" more often. Big D and I talked about this last weekend. Our kids get invited to so many birthday parties - especially the little one because she still at the age where people invite the whole class to the party rather than just a few good friends. As much as the girls love these parties, when there's two or three in one day, it's just too much for the whole family. Between that and all the things that have to be done on the weekend, there's just not enough time to just relax together as a family. I have the most trouble saying "no" because I feel guilty about it as if we're somehow bad parents and bad community members if our kids don't attend all the parties and bring gifts. I know on a rational level that it's not true. But my irrational level takes over and beats my rational level into submission.

13. Next Thursday we have the girls' school concerts! M Girl's grade still has theirs during the day at school while the older kids have theirs at night. I'll have to miss my company party (again) because they always seem to be scheduled on the same night. But that's ok, I wouldn't trade my company party for a kids' Christmas concert for anything! However, A Girl keeps reminding me that we have to go out and buy her clothes to wear because they're requiring the kids to wear either black or white or both. That's fine except that A Girl doesn't own anything in those (non)colors. I however own everything in black. I got that trick when I lived in NYC - black goes with everything and requires very little thought in the morning before you've had coffee or even any food.

Ok, done with the rambling. Next week will be far more stable. Promise!

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Running2Ks said...

Oh boy I feel for you on the TLLB thing. I had to do the same. It frustrated me to no end.

Sorry about the PMS--I hope TKD helps out.

Jennifer said...

I hope your PMS gets better.
I am deaf, but have never needed a translator, or sign language, either, although I think that signing is a beautiful form of communication! :)
I'm so glad you're learning to say no. I had to learn that lesson the hard way!
My T13 is up. I would love a visit! :)

"D" said...

I don't know what ttlb is, but I'm glad I don't! I don't think I could handle it either...

love your 13, mine's up too..

Barbara said...

That ttlb thing is a bummer. Seems like it could have been done better. I feel like the itsy-bitsy spider having to start over.

Trying to Catch Up: Thursday Thirteen: What I like about Christmas

landismom said...

I'm still here!

I took myself off the TTLB thing, too.

Have a great time at the concerts.

AfricaBleu said...

That's one clever kid you got there - using the diabolical side of Santa as an argument for opening presents early - very, very smart.

I opened all mine lat night, just in case the big Red Man gets any ideas...

The Scarlett said...

I haven't taken myself off TTLB yet but I'm thinking it is going to happen soon.

Jen said...

Sorry about the PMS, it's the disorder everyone in the family suffers from!

I wondered what the TTLB thing was all about. Yikes!

Just trying to go visit all of the 13ers, even though it isn't Thursday any more. I can't fit everyone in one day!

Texas_Ivy10 said...

I never tried the TTLB thing.... :) I hope the PMS is better for the weekend! Tryign to visit all the TTers from the blogroll! Have a great Weekend!